A Gentle Bedtime Routine for Kids (Even With Five of Them)
We work for quiet evenings in our house. With five kids, that doesn’t always work out. Some nights bedtime is calm and cozy. Other nights everyone gets a second wind at the same time. If you’re looking for a bedtime routine for kids that bends instead of breaks, here’s the one we actually use.
The short answer
A good bedtime routine for kids is simple and the same most nights: screens off about an hour before bed, a quick tidy, clean teeth, read together, then a calm way to fall asleep, like music or a song. If the kids get a second wind, let them burn it off for a bit, then start again.
Our bedtime routine for kids, step by step
- Screens off about an hour before bed. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends turning off all screens at least an hour before bedtime. That’s our goal most nights, and it makes everything after it easier.
- A five-minute clean-up. Everyone picks up for five minutes. It’s short enough that nobody fights it, and the house feels calmer for the morning, too.
- Clean teeth. Then off to the bathroom.
- Read together. This is the part I protect most, and every night I hope we get done in time for it. When the kids were small, we read picture books. Now that they’re older, we have “upgraded.” Right now, it’s The Chronicles of Narnia, and we’re just finishing the first book.
- A calm way to fall asleep. My two older kids listen to baroque music as they drift off. I sing to the younger ones.
That order is close to the AAP’s own “Brush, Book, Bed” routine: brush teeth, read together, then a set bedtime. The AAP says a predictable routine helps children know what’s coming. We just added a tidy at the front and music at the end. This wasn’t by design, but more like a happy coincidence.
What about the “bewitching hour”?
If we don’t get the kids to bed in time, we hit what we lovingly call the bewitching hour. That’s when the kids get a second wind and go bananas.
We have learned that the best way is through it instead of fighting it. We let them play, dance to music, or do whatever gets the wiggles out for about 30 minutes. Then we run the bedtime routine again. We don’t want the last thing in the evening to be yelling and forcing them to bed when they aren’t quite ready. When the bewitching hour does happen, it often turns into a good connection builder, so the kids go to sleep feeling safe and secure with their siblings and with us.
Where do the kids sleep?
Our younger kids sleep in our room. They feel safest there, and it makes bedtime a breeze. Every family does this differently. Some friends have kids in their own rooms, some in a shared room, some close by. You do what’s best for your family and your situation.
One important note for babies: the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends sharing a room with your baby for at least the first 6 months, on a separate sleep surface, and not sharing a bed.
Snacks, water, and hugs after lights out
We don’t limit food or water at bedtime. We want our kids to learn to listen to their own bodies and what they need. Some nights that means someone is up a few times for a small snack, a drink of water, or a hug. I’ll be honest: it can be frustrating. But I would rather they learn to trust their bodies than learn to ignore them out of fear.
How much sleep do kids need?
The American Academy of Sleep Medicine sets these ranges, and the AAP endorses them:
| Age | Sleep per 24 hours |
|---|---|
| 4 to 12 months | 12 to 16 hours, including naps |
| 1 to 2 years | 11 to 14 hours, including naps |
| 3 to 5 years | 10 to 13 hours, including naps |
| 6 to 12 years | 9 to 12 hours |
| 13 to 18 years | 8 to 10 hours |
When my kids were babies and toddlers, they went to sleep with the sun. Now that they’re older, they don’t (so sad), so long summer evenings take a little extra help. Blackout curtains and a cool, dark room make a big difference.
Bedtime routine FAQ
What is a good bedtime routine for kids?
Keep it short and the same most nights. Screens off about an hour before bed, a quick tidy, brush teeth, read together, then a calm way to fall asleep, like soft music or a song. The AAP’s “Brush, Book, Bed” routine is a simple place to start. Add the pieces your family loves.
What if my child refuses to go to bed?
Ask them if they are hungry or thirsty. Ask them if something is bothering them. Or maybe it’s the dreaded second wind. Sometimes all they need is space to take care of a need: whether that is food, drink, a hug, or 20 to 30 minutes to move, dance, or play. Stay calm and keep the steps the same. A predictable routine helps kids know what comes next, so there’s less to push against.
Should kids use screens before bed?
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends turning off all screens at least an hour before bedtime. Swap in quiet things instead: a tidy, a bath, drawing, or a book read aloud. It won’t happen perfectly every night, and that’s okay. Most nights are still a big win. But also don’t shame yourself if they watched TV until bedtime. The most important part is that your child feels safe and that you are there for them. If watching TV means less snapping, don’t feel guilty. Just try again tomorrow.
Is it okay for kids to sleep in my room?
Our family does. Our younger kids sleep in our room because they feel safest there. They won’t be there forever. I would rather my kids feel safe at night than force them into a sleeping situation that makes them uncomfortable and makes the process a million times harder for everyone. For babies, the AAP recommends room-sharing for at least 6 months on a separate sleep surface, not bed-sharing. Beyond that, choose what lets your whole family rest.
Bedtime is easier when the rest of the day has a rhythm, too. Here’s our simple daily rhythm for families.
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Sources
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2024, February 2). Brush, book, bed. HealthyChildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/oral-health/Pages/Brush-Book-Bed.aspx
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2026, August 7). Healthy sleep habits: How many hours does your child need? HealthyChildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/sleep/Pages/healthy-sleep-habits-how-many-hours-does-your-child-need.aspx
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2026, September 11). How to keep your sleeping baby safe: AAP policy explained. HealthyChildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/Pages/A-Parents-Guide-to-Safe-Sleep.aspx
- American Academy of Sleep Medicine. (2016). Recommended amount of sleep for pediatric populations [Consensus statement]. https://aasm.org/resources/pdf/pediatricsleepdurationconsensus.pdf
